Good day and welcome to my first (and possibly last) blog. How do you do?
Long have I observed the pulsating tubes of the interweb, it has bought me joy and sadness, smiles and tears and of course a near endless supply of scantily clad females. Now the time has arrived for me, The Gentleman, to wade knee deep into the digital sea and cast my line into it's heaving depths.
This blog will contain a random number of random rantings. The exact rantings contained within shall be dictated by a number of factors,
- How busy I am
- What whimsey has currently taken me
- the responses of you, my small and loyal readership.
- The chaotic nature of existence
These factors will also affect the continuation of the blog in general. If you find yourself wanting for my words and none are forthcoming I would urge you to contact me and stir me from whatever shiny coin has drawn my attention.
Creative Corner
Struggling artists are a group I feel greatly for and I know all to well the difficulties inherent in getting yourself 'out there'. To this end one of my rants will be dedicated to promoting them and bringing their talents to your attention.
First, I will draw your attention to the original musical styling of a man I may, or may not be affiliated with. BEHOLD!.
He tells me he is available for concerts of all kinds, be they Pubs, Bars, Birthday Parties, Christmas, Bar Mitzvahs, Shenanigans, Soirees, Doos or Hoedowns. You may notice ties between this man and myself... this is because if he were Clark Kent I would be Superman...Make of that what you will. He was also recently in the local newspaper...
Your probably thinking "damn that guy is a geek"... and you'd be right. Many thanks to Jade Farrington for arranging this whole thing.
If you have art of any sort, visual, audio or other that you would like me to feature and possibly critique in Creative Corner then please don't hesitate to forward me the relevant information.
Help the Gentleman!
In this section I will place a clean towel on the floor before dropping to my knees and begging for assistance with something or other.
This week I shall beseech you, my incredibly attractive and skilled readers to provide me with an avatar worthy of a gentleman of my standing. I am currently making do with one that contains the three main indicators of class...The top hat, the monocle and of course the mustache. Whilst this is fine, It would be most agreeable to have an avatar that was more personalized, either reflecting my dazzling good looks or representing the word Gentleman in a more abstract manner. I shall leave it up to you, I await the avalanche of responses that are sure to follow.
The Gentleman's Handbook
If the sections above were the bread and salad of our blog sandwich then this would be the meat. Whilst courting my lady I mentioned to her on a number of occasions that I was referencing a Handbook which advised me on how to be such a perfect Gentleman. Some time passed and I eventually revealed to her that no such book existed, I was just naturally a wonderful man.
This series of events got me thinking and I decided that such a book SHOULD exist. Men these days often lack the basic training in being a Gentleman that used to be known by all. I am also painfully aware that these same men are generally unlikely to do anything without some form of incentive...With this in mind I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard at least) and began what was arguably the most important book in modern history. Below i present to you the first rule of the 'Gentleman's Handbook, with motivation for the Modern Man'
Rule 1: Always make sure to carry a ladies bags for her. This includes shopping and the like but does not include the ladies handbag (you may think you look fabulous in it, but I can assure you… It will not reflect favorably on you if she sees you modelling her handbag)
Motivation: A lady with arms that are tired from carrying is
much less likely to use those arms to do something fun with/for/to you. Weather
your end goal involves rudeness in the bedroom or baking in the kitchen she
will be much more likely to do either (or both) if her arms aren’t aching.
Farewell, For now...
That is probably enough of me for one week, so I will take my leave. I hope you enjoyed my rants... If responses to this are favorable I will endeavor to present you with more on a weekly basis. Have a good week, and remember...
A Top hat is never a bad idea.
Yours Sincerely, The Gentleman.
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